Fitness Distilled

The Facts of (Lifting) Life

These are some musings on fit people, and truths that in some cases I took a long time to discover. Feel free to add some new ones in the comments below and I’ll compile a bigger list and keep it going…

#1 No man who ever built a great physique did it to impress a woman (or attract another man). Furthermore, he ran the risk of repelling potential mates because of his training and the way he looked—and he didn’t care.

#2 No one ever built a great body trying to prove anyone else wrong. Motivation that comes from negative thinking doesn’t last long, and it doesn’t power you through adversity.

#3 Not everyone knows how to get ripped, but everyone knows how not to be fat.


Looks strong to me. (See #11)

#4 Nutrition is less complicated than training. There are dozens of exercises, stretches, and programs you’ll have to use at one time or another, but there are only a few types of foods you need to eat—and you can find them all in nature.

#5 Any “weak points” you have, in your strength or your physique, are the result of ignorance or ego. You either don’t know how to balance your training/diet or think you can get away without it.

#6 Your workout doesn’t suck. You’re just not doing it correctly or often enough. Or you eat too many Cheetos.

#7 This time will only be different if you hold yourself accountable. Getting a workout partner, coach, or friend to share the process with will help you to see it through.

#8 At some point you will forget to clean out your shaker cup and will open it days later and smell the stench of 1,000 dead cows drenched in the sweat from the devil’s armpit. It is the most heinous scent your nostrils will ever endure, and yet you’ll still forget to wash your shaker cups in the future.


I found this in my shaker cup this morning.

 #9 CrossFit, P90X, and Insanity are not the best workouts in the world. Nor are they the only ones that will “finally” get you in shape. But if they get you off your ass, that’s good enough. This workout is just as effective, possibly even more, if you stick with it.

#10 Squatting three or more times per week will eventually cause you great pain. I don’t care that you’re changing the sets and reps and weights each time, that’s still too much squatting. And this isn’t Bulgaria.

#11 Benching with your feet up on the bench while taking a wide grip is actually not that stupid. Not if you want to work your pecs harder and rely purely on your upper body without using leg drive.

#12 Cutting out carbs and eating as much fat as you want will make you fatter and less healthy. You know this deep down, and always have, and should admit it to yourself sooner rather than later.

#13 Heavy bench presses and deadlifts don’t impress regular people. Deep pistol squats and one-armed pushups don’t impress people who do heavy bench presses and deadlifts.

#14 Having multiple nagging injuries means you train too heavy too often. Having no injuries whatsoever means you’re small and weak and don’t work hard.

#15 Yes, people who lift weights recreationally are hoping it will help them manage some massive insecurity. People who do practically anything are hoping it will help them manage some massive insecurity.


A child sleeping in his pajamas. What could be more hardcore than that?

#16 Every gym that fancies itself as “hardcore” plays “Enter Sandman,” even though by virtue of its popularity “Enter Sandman” cannot be hardcore.

Feel free to keep the list going and growing…

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